Assisting Anonymous Ungulates

One thing about cows is, they're dumb. Dumb as a sack of hammers.

Need proof? Look at the Irish Fest cow up above there on top of the page. Dancing around, doing a little jig, smiling, playing with the little birdies. Moron. That cow should be worried, not happy. That cow should be sitting, rubbing his hooves together anxiously, chewing her cud nervously. Why? Because that cow has no name.

Imagine that if you will. You're waiting for your table at your favorite restaurant. How will you know when the hostess calls your party? You won't. Maybe your friends are choosing up sides for a soccer game. "We'll take..." who? Not you, nameless. You sit. That make you feel like getting jiggy with the little birds? Of course not, because you're not a dumb cow.

But you can help. You can name that cow, assuming you're a child. If you're not a child, go get one. Better get a couple, because not only does the cow need a name, but his little bird friends do, too. Come up with the best name, as chosen by a bunch of highly trained cow experts (bovinologists, they're called), and you'll win a great prize at this year's Kansas City Irish Fest at Crown Center.

Details are here.