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Not too long ago, there was a happy cow. Happy happy happy. It was an Irish cow, as anybody could see because it had a big shamrock shaped spot on it’s side. It was a very happy cow, in case I hadn’t mentioned that before. Then one day his little bird friend landed on his back.
“Hey, cow” the little bird said. “Why are you so happy?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” said the cow.”It’s a beautiful day, I’m Irish, and I’ve got this big shamrock shaped spot to prove it. Plus, I’m the official mascot of the 2006 Kansas City Irish Fest, the bestest Irish Fest in the whole wide world!”
“Because, you moron” said the bird “you don’t have a name. Haven’t you ever wondered why everybody just calls you ‘Cow’ and not Gary or Susan or Fred or Roxanne or some proper name like that? And by the way, ‘bestest’ isn’t a word, you dope”.
“Oh my” said the cow. “This is terrible news! How can I get a proper name?"
“Simple” answered the helpful, if a little rude, bird. “Ask all the kids who are coming to Irish Fest to think of a good name for you. They bring the names they made up to Irish Fest. Then you pick your favorite, and give the kid that thought of it a prize.
”Great idea!” exclaimed the cow. “And by the way...what’s your name, bird?”
“Mind your own business, cow” said the bird.
The End
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