Offspring In The Office

It's Take Your Kids To Work Day if you've been wondering why there are so many undersized new employees hanging around the water cooler. While the practice is widely embraced in offices around the country, here at Irish Fest HQ we discourage staff from bringing their offspring to work. It's not that we're not family-friendly or anything. I mean, what do you think, we sit around drinking all day?* Ha ha!

No, the problem is all the cows. See, contrary to what our idiot cartoonist implied, when our Irish Fest mascot cows retire we don't turn them into the main course at the company picnic. We just let them wander around the office. All nine of them. And here's a fun fact: cows are very difficult if not impossible to housebreak. Now we grown-up-type people have gotten pretty used to stepping around the cow pies that sit slowing soaking into the office carpets. The kids, not so much. So you can see why Take Your Kids To Work Day around here would be more like Keep Your Kids From Stepping In The Shite Day. And that's no fun for anybody, except maybe the cows.

Anyway, if you brought little Sean or Aoife into the cube farm with you today, I hope they have fun and don't steal too many office supplies or corporate secrets. Me, I'm just going to put my wellies on and have a normal day.

* We do.