I hope you took the day off work today to finish work on your costume for Deadie Delahaunt's annual Pooka Party. You can't just show up in some off-the-rack Costco job you know, lest you incur the ridicule of your peers. You gotta get creative. I've helped you in the past as you may recall...a couple times...more than a few actually, and I will do so again, because I care. If none of those previous suggestions light the candle in your pumpkin, maybe one of these will.
1. Irish Fest Friday Night: Get yourself a friend. Have that friend follow you around the party and repeatedly empty a bucket of water over your head. Then have them empty your wallet, purse or bank account. Keep smiling anyway. Tell everybody it's a fine soft day. Weep silently inside.
2. Jessie Burns Of Gaelic Storm: Okay, first, get pregnant. No wait, you'll have to have gotten pregnant like 8 months ago. Well hell. Forget that one.
3. The Hyatt: Put a sign on your head that says "Sheraton". Nobody will know who you are! It'll be awesome!
4. The Jameson Whiskey Tasting Tent: Remember those umbrella hats? Get one of those and put it on your head. Maybe write "The Jameson Whiskey Tasting Tent" on it with a Sharpie. Give me whiskey all night.
Happy haunting, everybody!