Check It Twice

Dear Santa Claus,

Howya? Grand. It's a cold, snowy day here in Kansas City, so it seemed like a good time for me to drop a line and give you my Christmas wish list. I've been a good fella, all in all. Relatively speaking. There are people around here who've been worse, anyway. So any of these items that will fit in the aul sleigh would be welcome and appreciated. Thanks.

1. Another year of great weather for KC Irish Fest 2010. Minus the all day rain on Friday during set up. Yes, I know it stopped by the time we opened but by then we were all soaked. I know you don't normally handle weather conditions, so feel free to pass this on to Jesus or whoever.

2. Those same 100,000 people who came to Irish Fest last year to come back. We've never had a better crowd. Oh...that gobshite who tossed a beer at the police chief? Keep him. Everybody else, come back.

3. More Boulevard Stout. As you might know, Santa, we ran out of the black stuff halfway through this year. Please station more elves in the brewery. A less polite crowd might have rioted.

4. Another performance stage. We'll find the room, you bring the stage. We have more great music than we can handle. Time to expand the venues.

5. Another 100 volunteers. Or another 50. Or to have 100% of people who sign up actually show up. Don't get me wrong, Santa. We love and cherish our wonderful volunteers. But every year there are a few who sign up to work and are never heard from again. They make our heads hurt. Do you have that problem with elves? Or for that matter, are the elves volunteers? Do you pay them? And if so, what do they do with the money? I assume there aren't any WalMarts or Taco Bells up there at the North Pole. And if you pay them just so they can give you the money back at the company store...well, Santa, frankly that kind of smacks of 1930's Appalachian coal mine. Not cool. And if they're not volunteers and you don't pay them at all...I know you're kind of out of the loop up there, but slavery is kind of at the top of the naughty list.

6. More generous sponsors who like what we're doing and want to be part of it. Times are tough. We can always use the help and we treat our sponsors very well. As a matter of fact, Santa, if you'd like to sponsor Irish Fest, let Keli know and she'll hook you up.

7. Peace on Earth.

8. A DeWalt 10" double-bevel sliding compound power miter saw.

That should about cover it, Santa. Hope to see you soon. We'll leave some dill pickles and beer out for you on Christmas Eve. My dad always told us that you liked that better than milk and cookies.

Ho x 3

Danny