Raffled

While walking around up in Milwaukee at their Irish Fest last weekend, I would periodically pass the raffle ticket booth. They, like we, give away two round trip plane tickets to Ireland as a grand prize every year. I must have passed that booth 20 times and I never bought a ticket. Why? Because I'm a loser, that's why. I must have entered a thousand raffles of all kinds in my life. Know how many I've one? Zero, that's how many. No more though. I know when I'm beat. As it happens, as an employee I'm not eligible to win the Kansas City Irish Fest raffle, even if the raffle gods didn't hate me, which they clearly do.

But you. You're different. How I envy you. Luck drips off you like grease off a cheap taco. You probably win contests without even trying. You're a shoe-in to win that trip from us. So bring an extra fiver when you come to Irish Fest and pack your bags. You're going to Ireland. Just send me a postcard, yeah? Address it to Uncle Bloggy, Loserville USA. It'll probably go to somebody else anyway.