The Opposition Heard From

Well, Irish Fest director Laren Mahoney, in her typical slooooow fashion has finally gotten around to writing her guest blog. I present it unedited below:

"Sorry Dan, I forgot.

I read your blog on Saturday where you declared your “gauntlet throw down” to beat me in the 5K race we’re doing at Milwaukee Irish Fest in a few weeks, and you kindly offered me a guest blog spot to respond. But after I laughed out loud for a few hours because you think you’ll win, I mowed my lawn and forgot about my opportunity to diss this 75 year old who thinks he’s quite witty. So here goes.

First off, Dan is a good friend. He’s let me use him to promote the Fest in more ways than he’s probably been comfortable with. But he’s a sneaky little thing. He'll tell you that he "runs something like 15 miles a day, has a strict diet of protein shakes and has a lifetime subscription to Runner’s World for winning the Hoot Owl, Oklahoma Marathon 5 times.”

I didn't want to do this, but here's the truth: Dan drinks Ensure for breakfast, eats dinner at the Hometown Buffet at 4 p.m., subscribes to AARP and is about to cross the border into octogenarian status. Which is exactly why I let him win the Susan G. Komen race he mentions in his blog. How could anyone live knowing that they almost took away one of his last joys in life – winning the KCIF group heat? (It’s the little things that please the old guy.)

But, he’s publicly picked on the wrong girl. Dan you’re going down. And when you go home sucking you’re thumb like a little baby, I’ll be taking photos all along the way for the great people that read this blog to see how much of a slow sissy you are.

As Dan mentioned, you can pick the winner of this personal grudge match and the difference between our finish times. Closest guess wins a full day pass to The Snug, worth a cool hundred bucks. Send your guess to Jeff at info@kcirishfest.com. If I were you, I’d say “Laren wins by something like 10 minutes”. But that’s just me.

Since I already know who’s going to win, I’ve provided a few advance photos of my victory."

I would attempt a witty response, but I've got to chug my Ensure and get to napping. I'll just see you at the race, Mahoney. By the way, those are good pictures. You look cute there with your teddy bear.