This is for anybody performing at the Kansas City Irish Fest this year who'll be coming here from elsewhere. Especially those coming here for the first time. The rest of you can skip this.
Missouri.
Not Kansas. Missouri. Kansas City, the largest city in...Missouri. Please, when you're on stage Mr. Lead Singer Guy, please remember that. We get a little particular about it around here. If you stand on our stage and tell us how great it is to be here in Kansas or to be playing at the Kansas Irish Fest or that it's your first time in Kansas, a lot of people will shout at you and you'll say "what?" and they'll shout some more "YOU'RE IN MISSOURI!" and you'll be embarrassed and precious time will have been wasted that could have been spent performing or relating humorous anecdotes or selling CDs, and nobody wants that. Further, if you make any on-stage comment about Dorothy or Toto, I'll personally drag you off the stage and beat you.
If I had a time machine, right after I shot Hitler, bought Microsoft stock in 1986 and bet a million dollars on the 1969 Mets, I'd go back to the founding of our town and bitch slap whoever decided to name a city in Missouri after the state next door. We had other names in the hopper, perfectly good, non-confusing names. Names like Port Fonda, Rabbitville, Possum Trot and Gully Town and I'm not making those up.
Picture it: "HELLLOOOO POSSUM TROT!!!!" Awesome.
But we're stuck with it, and so are you. So here's your homework. You've got 99 days. Get out your map. Study. Practice. Say it over and over and over. Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City, Missouri.
Thank you.
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6 comments:
It might be useful to point out to said performers that Kansas is not to be used as an abbreviation for Kansas City. I've seen people refer to Kansas City, Missouri as "Kansas" even when they know the state is Missouri. Perhaps people who are used to things like Dublin City, London City, New York City, etc, don't get that the word "city" is always always used when refering to both the city and the metro area.
sheesh, somebody has some issues with kansas. you should be flattered, not up in arms.
Why should I be flattered to have people say they're glad to be in a state they're not in? If you worked on the Topeka Irish Fest and I got on stage and said "it's great to be here in Nebraska" would you be flattered? And if not, would that mean you had "some issues" with Nebraska?
Hat's off to you Mr Regan!
Well, if any of said entertainers are determined to entertain in Kansas, they are welcome to come to my front porch here in lovely Rosedale. I even have a musician son who can be the sound guy. So there ya go. We'll call it "WyCorusa".
I was thinking the same thing when I saw the Jiggly Jam TV Commercial with the kid in the "Cubs" Jersey. I thought I was watching WGN.
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