Shatterproof Piggy Bank

I'm cheap.

I'm so cheap I don't even pay attention. I'm as tight as a size 6 hat on a size 7 noggin. If you are too, let me remind you of how you can get into Irish Fest Friday night for a mere five bucks.

Buy your Friday night tickets on line through our website. That's the only place you'll get a $5 pass. Buy at the gate, ten bucks. But merely click, type a little, print and you've saved enough to buy yourself another beer while watching 2U. Why would you not do that? I dunno. I gave up trying to figure you out a long time ago.

Of course, for the truly parsimonious, there's an even cheaper way to get in: volunteer. You'll not only get in free the day you work, but you'll get a ticket to come back and play when you're off duty. Now that's a deal, pardner.

Another thing you can do with the money you'll save? My birthday's coming up. I usually take a size 12. As in ounces of Pale Ale.