When in the course of human events, it becomes time to hear from Ed Scanlon, we hold this Ed Said to be self evident.On this 4th of July Holiday, I woke with a feeling that I should flex my power as Festival President and extend a few pardons and commute a sentence or two. (I wonder where I got this thought?) So who needs to be pardoned and who needs their sentence commuted?
The Festival Fashion Police last year had written a few citations, so they will be first on my list. First, the adult man wearing a head piece with spring loaded flashing green light shamrocks and giant green sunglasses you are fully pardoned. I salute your courage and do not question your party style. Second, all the fellers wearing skirts, dresses and other frocks aka kilts, you are pardoned. I'm sure that is only a result of your older sisters dressing you when you were a child. The next commutation of sentence is extended to the four small children found wading in the green fountain water, rather than the spray ground fountain. As was said by another president "they have suffered enough". The scrubbing mom gave in the tub and the jeers of your peers for starting second grade with green arms and legs.
I feel better now and will now spend the rest of the holiday cutting firewood at the ranch. Tomorrow it is back to Festival Headquarters to deal with our City Fathers...
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2 comments:
You must have gotten this idea from seeing all the Clinton's publicity recently as I think they still hold the record for pardons.
Actually, President Clinton is in a very distant 20th place in the Presidential pardons and commutations race. But I know you Republicans aren't so smart with numbers.
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