Answer Me This

Q. So you're at the festival and you're pushing ever so gently your sleeping baby in a Mark-3 Zeppelin Super Stroller with modular Large Screen DVD (the Lite model), and you meet...three steps. Your spouse disappeared earlier with a musician in a kilt, and your daughter is getting ready for the Feis. Who are you going to call?
A. Wearing gold shirts with the word 'HOST' on the back, are a team of special roving ambassadorial volunteers who can effortlessly help you navigate those stairs. They're a sort of SWAT team of helpfulness.
Q. To get your own back on your flirting spouse you now have your eye on a comedian in a suit, so you want to buy a ticket for the comedy show. Where do you go?
A. On the south end, by Morton's, right next door to WJ McBride's, is a booth under a sign saying 'comedy tickets' or something funny like that.
Q. You buy a raffle ticket every year but you never win that trip to Ireland, so do you bother this year?
A. Well you never will win it if you don't buy a ticket - one of the basic rules of raffles which the festival follows - however this year there is a huge array of wonderful other prizes that you also could win. It really never has been this good - check out how good at the Information Booth - which is a roundy kiosk not serving beer.
Q. You're checking the blog at three and four in the morning but not finding any updates. What do you do for information?
A. You could refresh your browser in case your computer is showing you a cached memory instead of the latest hot news from Blog Central. And you could tell me what parties you're getting invited to that I'm not.
Q. You think the Celtic High Cross looks so fantastic you want to touch the interlace design to see how it feels, but there's a bunch of flowers in the way. What do you do?
A. You admire the flowers as well as the cross, and that way everybody gets to see it as Peter Martin intended (or Peader Máirtín in Gaelic - see John Webber in the Heritage Area to find out your Gaelic name).

Handy Irish Phrase: Ceapann mo thuismitheoirí go bhfuil se ana-chostasach culaith nua a cheannch dom gach bhliain (My parents think it is very expensive to buy a new costume for me every year)