Friday, June 06, 2014

You Otter Be Getting That Hotel Booked

Irish Fest opens in just 84 days, the average gestation period for an otter. And if you haven't booked a room in one of our two beautiful anchor hotels, you otter get on that. Because–and unless this is your first Irish Fest you otter know this–they will sell out. They're getting close now.

"But Uncle Bloggy", you say. "I only live a few miles from Crown Center. Why should I spend the dough to stay in the hotel when I go can just go home when Irish Fest closes for the night and sleep in my own bed and eat my Froot Loops out of my own bowl before I come back down for the next day of  Irish Fest?"

Well, look. First of all, let's talk about that bed you have at home. I suppose it performs the most basic functions of what's required of it to be called "a bed", i.e. keeping you off the floor. But have you slept in one of the Heavenly Beds® at the Westin? I'm here to tell you, Paddy, I slept in one over Jiggle Jam weekend and I woke up 15 years younger. That there is a comfy mattress. Second of all, and I shouldn't even have to tell you this, but Anything In Your Kitchen < Hotel Breakfast Buffet. Third of all, Irish Fest doesn't end at 11:00 PM each night. It only moves. And to guess where? Hotels. Traditional music sessions in the pubs, lobbies, and lifts are an Irish Fest tradition. And they go all night. You know what goes all night in your house? You, to the bathroom. And last of all, do you really want to drive home after a great day of craic? Only to have to turn around again in the morning and come back, where you'll hear all your hotel-staying friends tell you about the EPIC time you missed in Spectators bar at the Sheraton where Pat Murphy from Gaelic Storm told you that great joke and those guys from Socks in The Frying Pan played reels while standing on the bar in hula skirts? Of course not.

Having crushed your ill-advised go-home plan in the iron grip of reason, I remind you again: the hotels will sell out. Soon. And remember, you not only get the discounted KCIF rate, but you get free Fest tickets with your room. Book yours now.

Otter not wait.


Anonymous said...

15 years younger?! Does that mean that you have hair now?

Danny Regan said...

Yes, that what that means.