Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Luv Luv Luv

Happy Valentine's Day to you, you who we love above all others because you come to Irish Fest and spend money. I have Valentine's Day presents for you and they're much better than tired old ideas like taking you out to an expensive fancy dinner or buying you costly furs and chocolates and whatnot. Better mostly because these gifts don't cost me anything. And better yet, I don't even have to think of a new thing to give you because these are things I wrote in past years. Because if nothing else, Valentine's Day is about being lazy.

Gift 1: An Interesting Fact: Did you know that St. Valentine himself, or what's left of him, resides in Dublin? True enough. He arrived in 1836 as a present from Pope Gregory XVI (I wouldn't want Pope Greg drawing my name for Christmas gift exchange) and is there, in the Whitefriar Street Church to this very day.

Gift 2: Free fill-in-the-blanks poems for your sweetie. Pick one, print, add your sweetie's name and watch the magic happen:

Oh, _________ my dear, how can I say
Upon this lovey-dovey day
the words I hope won't seem too rude:
I'd like to see you in the nude.

If I could make a Valentine
For you, _________, true love of mine,
It would be the finest seen
In pink, carmine and tangerine.
Its surface bright, its words sublime
T'would speak of love that transcends time.

If I could make a card for you
As those folks at Hallmark do
I'd wrap it all with lacy border,
So please rescind the restraining order.

My darling large and studly man
You're such a virile hunk
Your loving touch intoxicates
And that's why I seem drunk.

But Honey, if you're wondering
Which gift for me is best
It isn't roses, gems or sweets
Take me to Irish Fest!

Baby, how you make me feel!
My savage heart you tame.
And I will show you all my love
When I'm done watching the game.

And baby, when we're all alone
In our cozy warm love nest
I'll whisper what you long to hear
"Just six months 'til Irish Fest."

Gift 3: Our undying gratitude to all of you for supporting the Kansas City Irish Fest. We love you all and that's no joke.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, now, I do like that first poem!