Moo, Vito

I’m up in the air currently over Iowa I guess, having just left KC for Milwaukee for that city’s small, intimate Irish Fest. It’s cute, what they do up there, quaint really. You just want to pinch their widdle cheeks and say  “aren’t you a big festival! Yes you are! Yes you are!” 

So  while ignoring the safety instructions (hope that doesn’t come back to haunt me) I was looking through the airplane magazine and there was a little story in there about, and I’m not making this up, how some scientists in England discovered that dairy cows who have been given names produce close to 70 more gallons of milk annually than do cows who don’t have names. True fact.

I bet you know where this is going.

Our own Irish Fest cow, the 2010 version created for us by the ludicrously talented cartoonist Oliver Christianson, is nameless. Around here at HQ we just call it “the cow.” And guess what? Not one drop of milk. Now we know why, don’t we. So let’s name that heifer, if for no other reason so that we’ll have something other than Jameson’s to pour on our Lucky Charms at our breakfast board meetings. If you’re a child, think up a name for that bovine. A few guidelines: she’s a girl cow. She’s an Irish cow. You might want to consider submitting a name that reflects those two characteristics. For example, my suggestion of naming her “Vito Cowleone” probably wouldn’t make the first cut even though that is an awesome name for a cow. Ooh, you know what another good one would be? “Moohito Cowasaki.” But again, inappropriate for tis particular cow. But you come up with a good one. Then submit it to KCIFChildrens@everestkc.net. And if your name suggestion gets chosen as the best, you win...a cow! A big 4 foot long stuffed cow! Not stuffed like taxidermied, would be kind of a bizarre prize to give a kid, but stuffed like a toy.

So good luck! And don’t submit the names  “Kaus Von Milkenheimer”  or “Bovito Moosolini.” I have dibs on those.