Historical, If Not Quite Hysterical

In anticipation of the coming holiday, I thought it might be instructive to offer a little history. And when I say history, I mean that I posted this last year. But really, isn't Thanksgiving about being lazy? Here's a rerun:

Step into Ol' Uncle Bloggy's Story Wigwam for the untold story of the first Thanksgiving.

Back around 1620, 1621, something like that, a big boatload of British pilgrims sat down with the native people whom they would soon supplant and kill, and ate a big meal. But did you know that a few years earlier, Irish pilgrims held the actual very first Thanksgiving dinner a few miles up the road? These folks had landed in the good ship Aprilflower (I told you they were first) as I said, a few years earlier. After a long, hard first year in the new world, they decided it would be a good idea to have a big hooley to show the Almighty that they were thankful for still being alive in the face of such dreadful trials as coming to a new land with absolutely no pubs. So they invited the local aboriginals to the settlement over there in South Virginia or wherever it was to come celebrate with them, since without these helpful native people, the Irish settlers wouldn't have known how to do those basic things it takes to set up a new civilization, like plant corn and get the cable hooked up. Contrary to our popular modern myth, there was no turkey served since the grocery store where you buy them hadn't been invented yet. Instead, the Irish pilgrims dined on local delicacies such as squirrel, pine cones and gravel. Which is why, as soon as dinner was over they sailed back to Ireland where they could get a decent meal and a proper pint, which is why those other pilgrims, who had much less common sense, get credit to this day for inventing Thanksgiving, which of course is another example of the iron boot of British oppression stomping the bejaysus out of the poor Irish.

There you have it. Now that you know the real story, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, even if you have to share it with your families. And save me some squirrel.