For The Kiddies

Okay kids, send Mom and Dad out with their cardboard signs to beg on the street corner for gas money. It's time for kids only here in Uncle Bloggy's Story Wigwam. You know the drill. Grab Uncle Bloggy a cold one from the fridge and gather round.

Now then. Once upon a time there was a kid. Maybe it was two kids. Yeah, let's go with two. And these kids like any normal kid loved going to Irish Fest. They loved it more than those brain-rotting video games you punks are always playing. They loved it more than more than that Amanda Cabana or Hannah Nevada or whatever the hell her name is. But these poor kids had this father...we'll call him Ed...who was so cheap, so stingy, such a tightwad, that  he wouldn't take them. I mean to tell you this guy was as tight as the skirt on your fat Aunt Bertha. Every Labor Day these two urchins would beg the old man "please, Dad! Take us to the Kansas City Irish Fest! We love it so!" 

Hey, you know what Uncle Bloggy would love? For one of you kids to run to the fridge for me. All this story telling makes me thirsty. One of the brown bottles, bottom shelf.

Anyway, every year they'd beg, every year old Scroogey McCheaperson would answer the same way: "Forget it. There's no way I'm taking you to Irish Fest. I know the ticket costs for me are reasonable, if not downright cheap, and that you guys, being 12 and under get in free. I know they have 257 different things for kids to do, most of them free. But I also know that you brats love nothing more than playing on those big inflatable bouncy things, and the last time we went, you dollar-billed me to death! A bounce here- a buck. A climb there- a buck. Before you know it, I'm so broke I can't afford to meet Uncle Bloggy at the pub. So forget it!"

But these kids, like I'm sure one or two of you, were no dummies. They'd been checking the Irish Fest website regularly and they knew that Irish Fest had made some significant changes in this particular area. "But Dad!" they said, "Irish Fest has made some significant changes in this particular area! You can now purchase an all-you-can-bounce bracelet for a mere $10 that lets us have unlimited use of the inflatable play structures all day long!"

Well, you can guess what happened next. Their father ignored them because there was a ball game on. But Mom took them to Irish Fest, bought them their bounce wrist bands and they all had a good time. Mom even had enough money left over to buy herself a Claddagh ring and a funnel cake and a Miller Chill. And they all lived happily, blah, blah, whatever.

Okay, story time's over. Go tell Mom all about the new cheap all-you-can-bounce wrist bands at Irish Fest. And tell Dad it's his round. Don't let the door of the Story Wigwam hit you on your way out.