What's A Children's Fest Without Gambling For Bar Tabs?

Okay, so at Jiggle Jam this past weekend I captained one of the two beverage tents. This being a family festival, we didn't call them "bars" or "beer tents", though we did have a very limited selection of beer and wine available for mom and dad, with proper I.D. of course. The other tent was captained by newby Irish Fest director Laren Mahoney. I decorated my tent, near what we call The Terrace Stage at Irish Fest in a Hawaiian theme, Laren chose a tribute to Elvis for her tent down on the square. Before the festival began we made a friendly wager on which tent would generate more sales, hers or mine. The winner would have his or her tab paid by the loser for one night at The Gaf, an Irish pub frequented by some members of the KCIF staff. I think I've been there once or twice.

Saturday started slow for both of us, but Laren drew first blood. Actually I think it was first Pepsi, to be perfectly accurate. As the day wore on and the crowds grew, the race was neck and bottle neck, until finally at night's end when the receipts were tallied, my tropical tent had narrowly bested Graceland West by slightly more than a hundred bucks. I was feeling good, but Sunday still awaited and a C note was not a comfortable lead.

Sunday crowds were considerably smaller and it showed in the tills. My beverage tenders spent a lot of time sitting and listening to the music waiting for customers. But occasional reconnaissance trips to Graceland showed much the same situation. I was cautiously optimistic. Finally at 6:00 we closed and cash drawers were turned in. We began tear down. And waited for the accountants in the office to do their thing. The verdict?

Two bucks. No kidding, she beat me by a lousy two bucks. One more beer sold, and I'm king of The Gaf. Being a good sport, I congratulated Laren and placed the fancy light-up lei that I'd been wearing all weekend around her neck. I conceded defeat honorably and gracefully. But between you and me? The whole thing was rigged. For one thing, the head of the Jiggle Jam accounting department is a girl, like Laren, and you know they are always sticking up for each other. For another thing, Laren had the cops who escorted the finance committee cash pick up people to our tents messing with my head. They'd come and say things like "she's got 'em stacked up twelve deep down there." Also, Laren is pretty easy on the eyes and who's buying beer at a family festival? Dads, that's who. Where's Joe Sixpack gonna stop to get the family drinks given a choice between me and Laren? Duh. And she admits to arranging to have the wildly popular balloon animal maker guy set up shop, with his long lines right next to her tent. Fair competition? I'll let you judge.

But as I said, in spite of this bamboozlement, I'm a man of my word and I congratulate her here, publicly on her tainted victory. I'll be picking up Laren's tab next time we're at The Gaf.

And in case you're getting ideas, I said Laren's tab. She is not allowed to buy a round for the house.