I almost got flattened this morning while out for a run by some lunkhead in a huge black pick-em-up truck who jumped on the gas to blow through the intersection because his light was turning red. Not yellow. Red.
So if that was you, or if that's something you're likely to do, I just want to let you know that you're not welcome at Irish Fest. Likewise the following:
• People like that woman in the red car in front of me yesterday who threw her cigarette butt out her window onto my street. Or people who throw cigarette butts anywhere other than the trash can.
• Cannibals.
• Oil company CEOs, unless they buy a round for the house. All 90,000 of them.
• That guy who stole my bike in 1982. I loved that bike.
• Deadbeat dads.
• Zombies. Okay, brain eating zombies. Well behaved, funnel cake eating zombies are okay.
• Nazis.
• Klansmen.
• Celine Dion, unless she buys a round for the house. No, you know what? Not even then.
• Able bodied people who park in handicapped parking spaces. You should be fed to the cannibals. Or the zombies, and not the nice kind.
• Fire ants.
• Television pundits.
• Scotsmen.
• KIDDING! I was kidding! Don't get your kilt in a bundle.
• Sorry about the kilt crack. We love you guys, seriously.
• The New York Yankees.
• Mushrooms. I hate mushrooms.
Please note, this list is subject to change at any time. So you might want to stay on my good side, muchacho.
Your Guide to the 17th Annual Kansas City Irish Fest at Crown Center. www.KCIrishFest.com
About Me
- Danny Regan
- Danny is a founder, past president, and creative director of the Kansas City Irish Fest. He lives in Kansas City, Missouri, the greatest city in America. He's authored Tir na Blog since 2006.
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13 comments:
The comments of Mr. Regan are soley owned by Mr. Regan and are not the thoughts of the Kansas City Irish Fest Board, Committee & Volunteers. For the Record I really like mushrooms. The rest of the stuff I tend to agree. But I do like mushrooms.
Ed Scanlon
Can I say --Andy Pettitte's OK. I hope he shows up in "The Snug", um hmm! The rest of the Yankees, OK I'm with ya.
Ed loves him some mushrooms.
I side with Danny on this one, Andy Pettitte is not ok, he is a g. d. Yankee, lets go Royals.
Can we add the White Sox? Or would that hurt sweet little McCarthy's feelings?
I definitely think cannibals and even the zombies should be allowed in before dead beat dads!
I'd like to see Cannibals vs. Zombies, deadbeat dads as referees.
Regan is on Shrooms
McCarthy
That would mean the DBD's would have to work! Never happen.
I you sure you didn't forget where you parked your bike? What would that "guy" need with a girl's bike anyway?
Scanlon calls you "sweet little McCarthy" and I'm the one on 'shrooms?
To: huge black pick-em-up truck driver
Buy high octane
From: Oil Company CEO
Oops, my mistake. That wasn't Scanlon. It was "Anonymous". That guy's always causing trouble.
I would still blame it on scanlon, talk about trouble.
"• Able bodied people who park in handicapped parking spaces. You should be fed to the cannibals. Or the zombies, and not the nice kind."
Yeah, screw those people!
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