Planning Ahead

Well, I'll tell you what, kids. February has just two more days (leap year, you know) and then...March, which may be one of your better months when you get right down to it. Certainly in the top 10. With March comes more Irishry than you can shake your shellaligh at, and please don't shake it around here.

It can be a little overwhelming. Between this weekend and March 17th, you can spend all your waking moments and a fair chunk of your sleeping ones just being Irish. There are parades every couple minutes, parties, dances, Ed Scanlon look-alike contests...it wears me out just thinking about it. If it weren't for beer, I don't know how we'd get through it.

So while I have a rare free minute, I thought I'd prepare for you a handy calendar to help you plan these next three weeks. As luck would have it, there's at least one seasonal shindig every single day between now and the blessed day. You'll probably want to print these and put a copy in your wallet or have it tattooed backwards on your forehead. We'll do a few days at a time.

Thursday, February 28th: If you're an Irish Fest committee chairperson, we have a meeting tonight, so no fun for you. Our meetings, in spite of their being held in a brewery are solemn, business-like affairs that resemble nothing so much as a corporate training session. If you're not stuck with going to our stodgy old meeting, then you may want to go see Irish Fest performer Bob Reeder tonight at O'Dowd's up North in Zona Rosa. Fun fact: "Zona Rosa" is Irish for "scar tissue."

Friday, February 29th: Go eat shrimp at the A.O.H. Lenten dinner at Redemptorist. Eat all you can hold for one low price. Just don't ask me to go with you. Shrimp look like giant bugs and feel like little sponges when you bite them. You're welcome to them. Eat my share. When you're all shrimped up, go up to O'Malley's in Weston and hear Irish Fester band The Kelihans. Ask Jack if you can tickle his ivories.

Saturday, March 1st: Eat a big Irish breakfast at Browne's Irish Market and Deli, at 33rd & Penn. Hell, eat two. You've got a big day ahead of you. Here's a fun game while you're there: try on every article of clothing you can find that has the words "Irish" or "Ireland" on it, all at once. See how long you can stay upright before your legs collapse. In the afternoon, go hear former Irish Fest director Pat O'Neill down at the Irish Museum and Cultural Center talk about what it was like growing up as an Irish kid in Kansas City. Frankly, I'm surprised he can remember that far back. Tonight, it's Gaelic Storm, 7:00 at the Beaumont Club. I'll just go for the one.

Sunday, March 2nd: I usually go to dawn Mass, which is probably why you haven't seen me there. This Sunday I'll be at St. Fachtna's for the St. Patrick's Day Strip Bingo Tournament, Brunch and Clam Skipping Contest. Tonight, Eddie Delahunt's playing at O'Dowd's on the Plaza. Playing music, I mean, not strip bingo. Although, if you ask nicely...

Monday, March 3rd: It's my sister Peggy's birthday today, so all St. Patrick's day activities are canceled. Banks close, postal service is suspended, clocks stop, water goes down drains counter-clockwise. E-mail her and ask her how old she is.

That should get you started. I'll fill in the rest of your pre-Paddy's schedule in days to come. You are very welcome.