Last Push

We still need you.

We open in 7 short days, and we still need a lot of you to volunteer. Although it might seem like it, I don't have enough sisters to do everything.

So I'm sitting here thinking that I've missed something. There's that one thing that I haven't said. That magic turn of a phrase, that perfect plea that will convince a few more people to fill out that volunteer form and join us at the Kansas City Irish Fest.

I think I've got it. Do this: think of three people today that might want to join you as you volunteer. Just three. Friends, co-workers, cousins, whoever. Cut and paste this e-mail and send it to them:

Hi (insert name of friend here)!

I was just thinking about you, as I often do, and thinking about all the fun we used to have doing (insert commonly held interest, hobby or fetish here). Remember that time in (insert name of city, fraternity, sorority, cell block or support group here) when we stole that (insert name of lawn ornament, farm animal or late model car here) and put it in (insert article of clothing, bathroom fixture or government office here)? Good times, good times. You know, we should spend more time together! And I have just the way to do it. Let's volunteer to work at Irish Fest! We get free T-shirts! We get free tickets! We get to meet and work with some of the nicest, most personable, intelligent people in town! We might even meet some cute Irish (insert gender of choice here)! It's really easy too! Just click here and fill out the form. And be sure to put my name down as the person who recommended you, so I can win the party at the Boulevard Brewery tasting room. Of course, I'll invite you when I win, you silly (insert ethnic nickname, name of fuzzy animal or house plant here)!

See you at (insert name of church, 12 step program or biker bar here).

Your Friend,

(insert your name, alias or federally provided witness protection program identity here)

I think this might just put us over the top. If everybody who reads this gets just three people, we'll have more than enough volunteers. Start sending those e-mails!