Do's and Don'ts

We're almost there now. The 2006 Kansas City Irish Fest is just 5 days away. So let's review some of the stuff you need to know before you head to Crown Center for the craic next weekend.

No food or drink can be brought into Irish Fest. That's not a bad thing. We have mountains of food and rivers of drink. And who wants to lug around a cooler or a picnic basket?

Those people sitting behind you want to see the stage too. Please leave the tent and the big umbrella home with the cooler.

Likewise Fido, ferret, feline or fowl should sit this one out. Only legitimate service animals are allowed on to the grounds, and no, Buster The Beer Sniffing Dog doesn't count.

Although we've lots of nice paved surfaces, and you might be tempted, no skates, skateboards, scooters, bikes, trikes, or unicykes are allowed in. We do anticipate a lot of Mikes.

I know it's an election year, but don't bring your favorite candidate's brochures, leaflets or yard signs. Bring the candidate if you must. Just tell him or her to keep quiet.

Do not bring weapons of any kind. Period. I won't even try to make a joke about that.

That's a lot of don'ts, fair enough, so here are some do's.

Do bring your lawn chair. Chairs and bleacher seating will be available, but it will fill up fast. Besides if you have one of those cool lawn chairs with the cup holders in the arms, that's way better than what we have down there anyway.

Do bring a blanket if you prefer stretching out on a spot of grass. You may not have heard of these little things where you come from, but we have a teeny tiny microscopic bug here called a chigger that lives in the grass and dines on your...bottom. And legs. And other skin in contact with the lawn. You want a blanket between you and them. Trust me.

Do bring the kids. Can't stress this enough. We love kids and we have lots for them to do. If you don't have any, borrow some. If you want to borrow mine, I'm only too happy to help. Just keep your hands away from Tommy's mouth when he's eating.

Do bring those other kids, the grey haired ones. Seniors over 65 get in for $5.

Do bring your thoughts and suggestions as to how we can make Irish Fest better for you. And when you see me or any of the Irish Fest staff, let us know what you think.

Most importantly, do bring your fun, your friends, your good cheer and your love of all things Irish. It's going to be a grand weekend altogether, all the more so because you'll be joining us.